Traveler's Test

Terry Pratchett’s travel tips that can save you on the road

Terry Pratchett’s travel tips that can save you on the road

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…because if you can laugh at a crisis, you’re saved!

I feel like my whole travel story is filtered in Terry Pratchett’s Big Bang theory:

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded”.

His tongue-in-cheek wisdom has helped me see the world’s bright side, no matter where in this world I’ve been. Here’s a collection of 29 of my favorite Terry Pratchett’s quotes regarding various travel situations:

Tips to remember on your first trip…

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”

“We’ve got a lot of experience of not having any experience.”

“Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.”

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”

When in Amsterdam…

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them. My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.”

When in Spain…

“Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.”

When something goes wrong, remind yourself that…

“Freedom without limits is just a word.”

“There isn’t a way things should be. There’s just what happens, and what we do.”

“It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.”

“Do you think it’s possible for an entire nation to be insane?”

“This isn’t life in the fast lane, it’s life in the oncoming traffic.”

“Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out.”

“So, everything in this world ran its natural course. Except for everything else that went heels over head.”

“Sometimes you laugh because you’ve got no more room for crying.”

When you’re afraid…

“Cowards make the best strategists.”

“Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.”

When you get lost…

“She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn’t.”

While you watch the sunrise…

“The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn’t sure it was worth all the effort.”

When you had it coming…

“He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting ‘All the Gods are bastards.”

When you’re bored…

“Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.”

“Everything looks interesting until you do it.”

Traveling in style…

“If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember.”

When you keep on postponing that amazing trip, remember that…

Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”

“If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story.”

“It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It’s called living.”

“Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”

“So much universe, and so little time.”

“You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world?… It’s all the people who never find out what it is they really want to do or what it is they’re really good at. It’s all the sons who become blacksmiths because their fathers were blacksmiths. It’s all the people who could be really fantastic flute players who grow old and die without ever seeing a musical instrument, so they become bad plowmen instead. It’s all the people with talents who never even find out. Maybe they are never even born in a time when it’s even possible to find out. It’s all the people who never get to know what it is that they can really be. It’s all the wasted chances.”

“When in doubt, choose to live.”

Pin it for later to your travel or Terry Pratchett board:

>>> Discover more thematic collections of travel quotes.


  • comment-avatar

    I actually laughed out aloud at the quote of never carry something heavier than its manual. Hahaha, traveling light is definitely a must!

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    I absolutely loved the one on Human Boredom and Sunsets. I burst out laughing reading them. I have heard a lot about cyclists in Amsterdam. Hopefully I get to visit the city atleast once 🙂 Really enjoyed reading your post.

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    The cat quote is funny, especially cause I’m a cat person. it’s all about style most of the time really. Although frogs have more adventure – swimming in ponds, jumping around, being in the forest, all things I love too!

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    Haha – those are some great quotes! Love the one about cats and style…so true!

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    I love this blog post! The quotes are great I especially love “Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.” Great!

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    I’m reading this on the train and the person next to me thinks I’m a crazy person as I keep bursting into laughter! I can relate to many of these! I feel we can’t laugh at ourselves …

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    “So much universe, so little time.”
    “The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn’t sure it was worth all the effort.”
    I think this sums up my theory of life. 😀

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    Nicole 6 years ago

    Haha great post! I love Terry Prachett and damn he’s said so much good stuff! Great compilation, I especially like the one about a Spanish 80 year old grandmother!

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    “Freedom without limits is just a word.” – LOVE this
    “Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.” – just wow. Great list

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    These are all such great quotes!!! “So much universe, and so little time” is definitely my favorite! I totally want to go find some Terry Pratchett novels to pick up and delve into!

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